Friday, February 13, 2009

The "Mean Mom"

It's true. KK said it out loud to me the other day "You are just being mean." I'm sure I'm going to hear that many more times between 11 1/2 and 18 (and probably beyond!) - but sometimes you just have to be. For the record, I hate it - it isn't an easy stance for me to take.

KK is social - she has been since 1st grade and never has really cared much about actual school work, but she likes to be a "helper" and I never heard much from most of her elementary school teachers other than we needed to get her to read more. Middle school has definitely brought changes to our world. Now she is in a school with 6th, 7th, and 8th graders. Dynamics are changing among her friends. Actual grades are being issued without much of a chance for making up a bad grade and just being well liked by the teacher isn't enough to get you through.

Due to what I felt was a complete lack of caring about her grades, I made KK cancel a sleepover at our house with a friend this weekend. This elicited the "mean" comment and as difficult as it is for me, I'm sticking to my guns. When she brings her grades up more acceptable level we will discuss having friends over.

I have the feeling this is only the beginning between KK & I and much tween drama.

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5 comments:

Carrie said...

I know it must be hard, but looking back at all of the times I accused my mom of being "mean", she was really doing the right thing. :)

HoneyB said...

I was the "mean mom" yesterday morning. By 12:30 I had a phone call with an apology....even when they get older they don't always like what you have to say (especially when they still need to grow up!) but at least if you teach them right (and sounds like your doing just that) they will appreciate you later. I promise!

Anonymous said...

Yep, stick to your guns. It isn't easy being the unpopular one but you have to look long term. I had a friend who said "It isn't my job as a mother to be my kids' best friend but rather to raise them to be people that others enjoy being around"
Hang tough.
Jam

Katy said...

Awww, Chicky, I don't think you have to worry about scarring KK for life with this one. What would be far more detrimental is if you let her become self-will run riot. I think it's difficult to prepare a child for the future, to teach then responsibility and accountability, to postpone immediate gratifications for long-term payoffs. They haven't been on this planet long enough to see and understand the value of it all. We all want to have fun, no matter our age. She knows that about you, becauses you are a fun mom! But equally, if not more important,you are a caring, responsible mom! I'm in all four of your corners on this one.

Cookin'mama said...

There should be a "mean mom" club! I could be the president! Aww, the middle school years.... Good for you for sticking to your guns! It may be difficult now but you will be glad that you did.