Tuesday, November 18, 2008

There are Just Random Times

.... that I miss my mom. Most days, after 5 years of being without her - I've learned to cope. "They" (ya know, the infamous they) told me that the sadness, missing, and hurt would get better with time. And it has. (Don't ya just hate it when "they" are right?!?!!?).

But on occasion, there are times I would like her to pat my hand and say "Sweetie, whoever told you life is fair was lying to you". Tonight I wish she was here with me to offer her love, support, and unusual little phrases of wisdom. That was my mom's job in my life. To be the person who loved me no matter what - I could be fat, skinny, smart, a dork, a little girl, a woman, a mom myself........ she loved all those parts of me.

It's just a little pity party, I promise to get on the lighter side again soon. (Maybe when it isn't dark at 4:15!).

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8 comments:

Darin and Angie Smith said...

I know that your mom is patting your hand and making everything ok because I see it in you. In your determination and happiness in being you (mom, friend, skinny, smart, a bad driver, quirky)
Those "they" people aren't always right, we just learn a new way of doing things without our loved one here.
I do believe that she would never leave you alone, there are a lot of people like myself to crash in on your party.
You know I am the last person to be commenting on this post, I have to go now while I can still see the blurry, wet keyboard !

HoneyB said...

I so know the feeling. Its like that with my Nanny. Hugs to you!

Jodi said...

Hugs to you! I know exactly how you feel. My dad used to say "whoever told you life was fair was lying" too. ;)

Carrie said...

Aww, I'm sorry you're feeling this way Susie. I wish I was there to give you a big hug!

Darin and Angie Smith said...

I found this reading Bonnie Washburn's blog. Thought of you and your post......
(partial song lyrics)

There will be days so sweet
Blossoming like a rose;
There will be days complete
Where happiness overflows,
With everyone you meet a friendship grows.
You'll know on that day, you'll hear yourself say,
This day is one of those.

There will be days so tough
You'll wonder why you chose
Taking a path so rough, and trusting that heaven knows.
And when you've had enough
Of climbing the rocky roads,
You'll know on that day, you'll hear yourself say,
This day was one of those.

There'll be days that you feel you could just do without,
Other days that you want more of.
Days of answers and hope, days of questions and doubt,
Days when you never knew you were loved.

There will be days you swear God's inspiration flows,
There will be days in prayer you ask Him why it goes,
There will be days He cares more than you suppose,
This day is one of....
This day is one of those.

Anonymous said...

Debbie, my mom has been gone for over 20 years, and I still have those moments...
Love the sharing from Darin and Angie at the end... poem or whatever, it "spoke" to this old gal in MN from CF... love you, Kathye

Susie said...

Look, Mrs. S. making me cry so early in the morning!!! It is beautiful!

Anonymous said...

I am tearing up just thinking of my mom being gone. She isn't doing so great and I know the time isn't too far away. I miss my dad often and we weren't even that close.
I am thinking of you Susie.
Love,
Jam